For the first time in my life I am facing what feels like an overwhelmingly enormous change. And that is unusual for me, because I have spent my entire life adapting to and seeking out change. I have moved enough times to be able to call 27 different houses/apartments my home. I have gone to 4 different elementary schools, 2 high schools, 1 college, 2 universities, and I have had at least 13 different jobs. I have had an endless stream of friends come and go from my life; so many, in fact, that I no longer expect anyone to stay.
Yet here I am in the longest, most stable and healthy relationship of my life, living in the same house for the longest stretch of time ever, raising three of the most incredible children that I never dreamed I would even have. My entire world has been dedicated to staying home to raise my family; it has become all I know, and it is all about to change.
This year all three of the kids will be at school, and my house will be empty. This year I will need to find my way back into the workforce, and into an adult world that I no longer feel a part of. I know that in a month’s time I will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about, but for right now, for this very moment, I feel unexpectedly sad, strangely overwhelmed and very much alone. For someone who has never questioned the fact that change is inevitable, I am finding myself shedding an awful lot of tears about something that I know deep down will be completely fine.