Life As I Know It Is About To Change. Again.

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For the first time in my life I am facing what feels like an overwhelmingly enormous change.  And that is unusual for me, because I have spent my entire life adapting to and seeking out change.  I have moved enough times to be able to call 27 different houses/apartments my home.  I have gone to 4 different elementary schools, 2 high schools, 1 college, 2 universities, and I have had at least 13 different jobs.  I have had an endless stream of friends come and go from my life; so many, in fact, that I no longer expect anyone to stay.

Yet here I am in the longest, most stable and healthy relationship of my life, living in the same house for the longest stretch of time ever, raising three of the most incredible children that I never dreamed I would even  have.  My entire world has been dedicated to staying home to raise my family; it has become all I know, and it is all about to change.

This year all three of the kids will be at school, and my house will be empty.  This year I will need to find my way back into the workforce, and into an adult world that I no longer feel a part of.  I know that in a month’s time I will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about, but for right now, for this very moment, I feel unexpectedly sad, strangely overwhelmed and very much alone.  For someone who has never questioned the fact that change is inevitable, I am finding myself shedding an awful lot of tears about something that I know deep down will be completely fine.

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31 thoughts on “Life As I Know It Is About To Change. Again.

  1. I can so relate to this… my little one has 1/2 day kindergarten this year, and although I thought I would enjoy quiet afternoons, I don’t. I kind of just wander around thinking the house is too quiet and now I don’t have a good excuse for not getting to the cleaning. Next year, I, too, must find my way back to the working world and am not looking forward to it …

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  2. I can definitely relate. I am nearing this time as well, and have no idea what to do or where to go. And although this is a move that will happen for me next school year, I am already weighted down with worry, now. I am thinking of you – I am sure you will do well in your next venture. You have a great personality. You will make a lot of co-worker friends and your kids will love the mommy that gets a little more time for herself. Best of luck – you will do great!

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  3. When my youngest got married in June I remember thinking about the day he started kindergarten. I admire you for your ability to accept change so well. I hate change. I don’t adapt well to it. I can’t even handle when they move a television show to a different night! If something gets cancelled I need to be medicated! The fact that you have the personality you do is going to serve you really well when you move back to the workforce. I understand the worry and the tears but you, being you, are going to kick fanny!

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    1. That is so kind of you to say! Thank you. 🙂
      My husband is the one in our relationship who doesn’t like change. We have talked about moving some day, and I practically have my bags packed whereas he will likely have be be dragged from the house kicking and screaming. 😉

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      1. I could move from this house easily. It was supposed to be our home for just a few years. But then I had the spinal cord injury and now we’ve been here over 17 years. Other moves have been like the one you envision for your husband!

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    1. Thanks. 🙂
      Only a few days to go!
      Give it a week and I’ll be spending my free time sipping coffee on the back deck in complete silence without a care in the world. 😉
      Until then, I’ll be a giant, sobbing mess every time anyone even mentions the word school.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like my life as far as all the moving around goes. I’d feel just like you right now if I had to go back into the workforce, and hubby and I have talked about it. The thing is, I’d have to work nights, since I homeschool my girls, and I don’t know when I would ever find the time to sleep. I hope whatever job you end up doing is something that you really enjoy. Timing seems to be everything, and waiting for that perfect opportunity isn’t always easy, but perhaps this will lead to something completely amazing! Just keep your positive outlook… Blessings for what’s to come! ~M xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It is always so nice to hear when someone else understands. 🙂
      When I do find work, I will hopefully never work more than part time hours, so that gives me some comfort. My husband and I both want me to be here for my family as much as possible. There is no rush for me to jump back into the workforce, so that is a huge relief as well. I plan to take September to myself, then we will see what happens next.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. That is so kind. 🙂 I am sending lots of positive vibes your way too!
      Things have been going very well now that the kids are back in school. Everyone is adjusting to the new routine (including me!!).

      Liked by 1 person

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