Over the holidays, I had a lot of people ask me what I got for Christmas. However, habitual good manners and rigorous social etiquette training from my childhood stopped me from answering truthfully. My answers were flat and insipid in comparison to the truth. So let me just get real with you all for a minute here. You guys, I’m now the proud owner of my very own Christmas Squish. That’s right. I basically ate Christmas. You’re welcome.