I went shopping for Halloween candy today. I figured 12 days before Halloween was the right number of days in advance to stock up. I bought a giant box of mixed chocolate bars; a beautifully blended assortment of chocolate coated happiness. I was really excited to try some when I got home, but felt as though I should be discreet about it, so I hid in the bathroom and tried not to let the wrappers crinkle too much.
I quickly learned that the average two-year-old has a nose like bloodhound, and ears like an owl. They can smell chocolate and shame from the other room, and they will track you down in that crazy determined way that two-year-olds do. They will pound on the door and take away whatever dignity you thought you had left.
I think next year I will wait to buy candy until exactly half an hour before I’m set to give it out, then I will bring it home and dump it all into the bag of the first kid who shows up at my door.